


Affected

by Aegir



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-16
Updated: 2014-11-16
Packaged: 2018-02-25 16:30:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 820
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2628407
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aegir/pseuds/Aegir
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve and Bucky accidentally discover Captain America can get drunk after all.  Just a little bit of post Winter Soldier silliness.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Affected

**Author's Note:**

> First story in this fandom, just testing the waters

As it turns out, Captain America can get drunk. You just need very large amounts of real rot-gut. Bucky Barnes had his first drink back when Prohibition was still around, and even he’ll agree this is one degree from being lighter fluid. 

They’re in a corner of Texas chasing something that Tony Stark likes to refer to as a McGuffin. Really not their kind of job, given that Fury has vetoed strong-arm tactics and neither of their skills includes pick-pocketing. He should probably work on that, he’s sure Natasha could give lessons, maybe Clint as well. Anyway, Fury still being officially dead means there’s a shortage of people he can call on, which means that the two of them are now trying to get hold of this chip’n’pin or whatever it’s official name is, by means of a drinking contest.

Steve’s idea. Of course. Steve’s ideas haven’t got any saner since 1944, although at least this one doesn’t come with a high chance of serious injury. Just an average one. 

So here Steve is going glass for glass with Codename: Kraken (real name uncertain, bucket full of aliases, who’d come up with that codename anyway?) who takes pride in out drinking all comers, and the drink is affecting Steve. Heightened colour, slightly glossy to the face, stumbling over his words just slightly. Yeah, he’s getting drunk. 

Bucky’s got the back-up job on this one. His body metabolises alcohol about as fast as Steve’s, but if he was the centre of attention somebody would start wondering why he’s wearing gloves inside. Maybe it’s time to take Stark up on the offer of a built-in hologram function. He’s had some of the rot-gut to blend in, and it’s worse than the stuff Dum-Dum and Dernier cooked up that one time that had put Colonel Phillips out like a light. 

Codename: Kraken is still putting it away, so maybe he’s got some kind of serum of his own. Or maybe he’s just really practiced. Steve’s starting to get a kind of silly smile, and Bucky puts up a prayer to Lady Luck that nobody asks Steve any questions right now, because Steve always used to spill anything once he’d got enough drink in him. 

Codename: Kraken is getting red in the face though, and his hand is weaving a bit on its way to his mouth. If Steve wins this one, they could just have a new set of problems because half a dozen of the guys in here are Codename: Kraken’s friends and they might not be too sporting about their pal losing his winning streak. Of course he could take them, even if Steve can’t stand up, but Fury said no strong arm tactics. Sometimes Bucky thinks Fury just likes making missions more difficult. 

At least the other guys are hitting the rot-gut as well. Better hope they have limited tolerance. 

Steve stares down at his hands, as if he thinks he might have borrowed them from someone else. “I think it’s affecting me,” he announces. Bucky doesn’t even try to keep from rolling his eyes. 

“Can’t hold it!” Codename: Kraken slurs triumphantly. It would be nice for him to pass out at that point, but life isn’t quite that convenient. It takes another four drinks before he finally keels over, face down on the dirty table.

Bucky’s on his feet at once, quickly extracting Codename: Kraken’s wallet from his pocket, the glove already stripped from his right hand so he can palm the McGuffin at the same time he’s counting out the bills which are Steve’s winnings. It’s the size of a credit card and looks pretty much like one, but has enough encoded data on it to keep JARVIS busy for a week. If the intel is right anyway. 

Steve is leaning back, humming. Bucky puts a hand on his arm. “Come on, pal. Time to go.”

One of the other guys tries to block them leaving, but the belligerence ends in an entirely unassisted sprawl on the floor. The others don’t even try to get up. The rot-gut has done its work well. 

“Bucky,” Steve says in confidential tones. “I think I might be drunk. Is this what drunk feels like? I can’t remember.”

“Pretty sure what you're feeling is drunk, Steve.” Bucky unlocks the car. He needs to put at least a couple of hours between them and this place. 

“Is it normal to want to sing?”

“Didn’t used to be for you.” Before the serum Steve had always been a mouthy drunk, or rather an-even-mouthier-than-usual drunk. Which had been a pain, because he was a complete lightweight back then and had got the two of them thrown out of an awful lot of bars. 

Apparently Captain America is a happy drunk. That’s nice for him. 

Steve sings ‘Don’t cry for me, Argentina’, throughout the drive and Bucky is strongly tempted to pull over and video it.


End file.
